Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
