Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
