I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
