This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
