the condom got lost in my hair
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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