$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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