I wanna bring you to show and tell
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
