You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
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We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
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But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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