I feel like I'm in dance class right now
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
