This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
