I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
