i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
