I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
