Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
