with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
