It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
