Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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