I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Randomize
