Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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