He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
