i would punch a child for taco bell
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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