My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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