I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
The air taste purple.
Randomize
