FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
