I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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