Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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