Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
