I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
