It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
