90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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