Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
