PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
