yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
