I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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