I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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