I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
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