I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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