I need help removing her.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
