he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize