he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Randomize
