White coat. Heels.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
