Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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