Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm determined to sit on that face.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
