you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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