she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
