What did we do last night that was yellow?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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