I like to think it a success when the cops are called
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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