Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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