nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
time to smoke my breakfast
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
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