you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
