you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
