Don't make out with my wife yet
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
