With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
home. puking in laundry basket.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I think I sprained my soul last night
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
