Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
