Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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