the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
