i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.