I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
These 21 Declassified Government Horrors Are Unimaginable
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.