he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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