Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?

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(660): View more from Missouri

i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals

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(904): View more from Florida

watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..

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(817): View more from Texas

Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.

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27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Read it at the TFLN blog
(214): View more from Texas

Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.

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(520): View more from Arizona

They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"

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(831): View more from California

tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better

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(704): View more from North Carolina

He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.

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