I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.