with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
